That was thing number two that was good about mulching.  Thing number one was gaining some more upper body strength.  There are only two good things about mulching.

Camp starts with staff training on Sunday!

In the meantime...

The only thing more awesome than kayaking to and climbing a 35' pillar in the middle of the Lehigh river is following it up the next weekend by kayaking to and climbing a 75' pillar in the middle of the Potomac river.

(Hence needing more upper body strength...)

I'll let you know if I survive tomorrow.  It should be geocache number 200 for me!

-CMK

Some Awesome Jokes

How do you put an elephant in the refrigerator?

Open the door, put him in, and close the door.

How do you put a giraffe in the refrigerator?

Open the door, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, and close the door.

There is a meeting of all the animals of the jungle.  Who isn’t there?

The giraffe; he’s still in the refrigerator.

To get to the meeting, you have to cross an alligator-infested river.  How do you do it?

Just swim across; all the alligators are at the meeting.

Why did the koala fall out of the tree?

He was dead.

Why did the second koala fall out of the tree?

He was stapled to the first koala.

Why did the third koala fall out of the tree?

He thought it was a game.

Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree?

It thought it was a koala.

Why did the boy fall off the bike?

He got hit with three koalas and a refrigerator.

Why did the other boy fall off the swing?

He had no arms.

Why do elephants wear blue tennis shoes?

Because the white ones always get dirty.

Why do elephants float in the river upside-down?

To keep their blue tennis shoes from getting wet.

How do you get an elephant up an oak tree?

Sit it down on an acorn and wait 50 years.

How do you get an elephant out of an oak tree?

Just wait till the leaves start to drop.

Why do ducks have flat feet?

For stamping out forest fires.

Why do elephants have flat feet?

For stamping out flaming ducks.

Why do giraffes have long necks?

For spitting on burning elephants.

How are an elephant and a banana just alike?

They are both yellow . . . . uh . . . . Except for the elephant, of course.

What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd of elephants coming over the hill?

Look! A herd of elephants coming over the hill!

What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd of elephants wearing sunglasses coming over the hill?

Nothing. He didn't recognize them.

What did Jane say when she saw a herd of elephants coming over the hill?

Look! A bunch of bananas coming over the hill!  (Jane was color-blind.)

Why do elephants travel in herds?

Because if they traveled in flocks, it would confuse the sheepdogs.

Why do elephants walk on four feet?

Because if they flew, you could never keep your car clean.

Why did the elephant paint the bottom of his feet yellow?

So he could hide upside-down in a bowl of custard.  (Have you ever seen an elephant in your bowl of custard?)

How do you get three elephants in a taxi?

One in the front next to the driver, and two in the back.

How do you know there is an elephant in your house?

There's a taxi outside with two impatient elephants.

How do you know there is an elephant in your refrigerator?

There's a taxi outside it with two impatient elephants.

And what if you don't notice the taxi?

There are footprints in the butter.

How do you get an elephant into the refrigerator?

Open the door, put in the elephant, close the door.

How do you get two elephants in the refrigerator?

Open the door, put in the first elephant, then put in the second elephant, then close the door.

How do you get six elephants in the refrigerator?

Put three elephants in a taxi, put three elephants in another taxi, then put the two taxis in the fridge.

Why are there so many elephants running loose in Africa?

Not enough refrigerators.

Why are elephants large, grey, and wrinkled?

Because if they were small, white, and smooth they would be aspirins.

How do you kill a blue elephant?

Shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

How do you kill a red elephant?

Strangle it till it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

How do you kill a green elephant?

Tell it a dirty joke until it blushes and turns red, then strangle it until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

How do you kill a yellow elephant?

What are you talking about? There are no yellow elephants!

How to catch a white elephant: Go to an place where there are white elephants. Bring with you a muffin (with raisins). Climb a tree. When the white elephant is close, drop the muffin (with raisins) in front of it. The white elephant will be happy, and eat the muffin (with raisins). White elephants like muffins (with raisins). Repeat this procedure for five days in a row. After the fifth day, the white elephant will be used to its daily muffin (with raisins). The sixth day you climb the tree, bringing with you a muffin (without raisins). Drop the muffin (without raisins) as usual. When the white elephant finds out that the muffin (without raisins) lacks raisins, it will darken in anger. And then you catch it the same way you catch an ordinary grey elephant.

How do you stop an elephant from passing through the eye of a needle?

Tie a knot in its tail.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side.

Why did the elephant cross the road?

He was riding with the chicken.

Why did the elephant cross himself?

The chicken was a bad driver.

After they crossed the road, they went to church. Why did the elephant cross himself?

To get to the Other Side.

How to Get Into Heaven

A man dies and meets St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. Peter says to the man, "Here's how it works. You need to have one hundred points to get into heaven. You tell me about all the good things you've done. They are all worth a certain number of points. If your total is one hundred or more, you can come in."

"Well," says the man. "I was happily married to the same woman for 52 years. I never looked at another woman. I was attentive and loved her dearly."

"That's great," says St. Peter. "That'll be two points."

"Hmmm," says the man. "This is going to be harder than I thought. Well, I attended church regularly, volunteered my time and tithed faithfully."

"Wonderful," says St. Peter, "That's worth another point."

"One point!" says the man. "Okay, okay. I was involved with a prison ministry for twenty-five years. I went into the prison, at least monthly, and shared Jesus with them."

"Wow!" says St. Peter. "That's another two points!"

"Only two points!" says the man. "At this rate, it'll be by the grace of God that I'll ever get into this place."

"Bingo!" says St. Peter. "That's one hundred points! Come on in."

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With camp coming up, I could use all the clean jokes I can get.  Post your favorites, please!